WOOT!! JURY REFUSES TO CONVICT MAN WHO RETURN-LOBBED A TEAR GAS CANISTER “SEVERAL FEET ABOVE LAW ENFORCEMENTS’ HEADS” – I HAVE THE ACTUAL CRIMINAL COMPLAINT

This past Friday, April 10th, a federal jury in Southern California refused to find Jonathan Caravello guilty of “assaulting, resisting, or impeding a federal officer” after a Border Patrol agent threw a tear gas canister into a crowd of protestors including Caravello, and Caravello picked up the tear gas canister and threw it back to towards the Border Patrol agents.

According to the 10-page Complaint (really more of a whine – but a highly comedic whine), Homeland Security Investigations (HSI) agents and Border Patrol (BP) agents were executing a search warrant at a “massive marijuana farm”, when protestors started showing up. (Notes from the Front members: the entire 10-page Complaint is included for you.)

And here’s where the comedic parts start (at least I find them funny). Says the agent who swore out the Complaint (let’s call him Agent Orange):

“…based on my training and experience, conversations with other law enforcement officers, and my knowledge of marijuana cultivation, I understand that implements used in marijuana cultivation include shovels, scissors, and both large and small hand tools.”

“knowledge of marijuana cultivation” 😂

But wait, even if you don’t find the above funny, you are *sure* to find this funny:

“The protestors gathered and started chanting “CHINGA LA MIGRA”… In my training and experience and use of an online translator, “CHINGA LA MIGRA” is Spanish for “Fuck the Immigration.” ”

Bwahahahaha… “in my training and experience and use of an online translator, “chinga la migra” is Spanish for “Fuck the Immigration.” ”

You have to admit that right there is funny.

Honestly, the Complaint is like a script for a new sitcom: Viva la Chinga

Anyways, so this protest broke out, and eventually the HSI and BP agents started using tear gas. One of the tear gas canisters thrown into the crowd by the agents rolled near Caravello, and he attempted to kick it back towards the agents, but instead it rolled past Caravello. So he bent down, picked up the canister, and then lobbed it back towards the agents. “A BP Agent reported that the canister was thrown at law enforcement and recalls that the canister came within approximately several feet above law enforcements’ heads.”

Ooooh nooooos! Approximately *several feet* *above* law enforcements’ heads! Oh the horror! 😱

Well, much like what happened with Sandwich guy, and also with several other defendants that the government couldn’t get prosecuted, the government LOST BIGLY with Caravello, because the jury lobbed a “not guilty” verdict at the prosecution.

Here’s the thing: the government keeps trying to bring these people to justice, and what they are *failing* to recognize is that they *have* brought them to justice – because justice is served *when the 1st Amendment right to protest is protected from despotic governments*!

Notes from the Front members: the highly humourous complaint is in your inbox now!

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P.S. If you actually read all the way to the bottom please leave a comment that includes the words “Agent Orange”. It will show me that my efforts aren’t in vain and that people actually *do* read these things, and it will drive those who just skim crazy wondering why everyone is talking about agent orange! ;~)



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